Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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