He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
