Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
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