I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
My cat gives me a boner
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
