wake up i wanna do it froggy style
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
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