So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
