Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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