there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
