The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
