i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
