This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
