Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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