youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
