i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
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