Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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