Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
