dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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