you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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