I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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