If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize