i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize