White coat. Heels.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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