dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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