ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
