I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
