just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
