I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I looked at my own cervix.
he thought i was a dude.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
