dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
