im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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