I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
