Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
