Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
