I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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