Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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