I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
