Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
there is glitter all over my balls
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
