i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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