The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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