that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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