A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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