I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
