Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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