I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize