I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
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