she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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