Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
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