My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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