At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
