I want to have your abortion
Please, let me fuck your mom
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize
