It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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