Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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