Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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