i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
