my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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