so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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