the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
When did angry sex become our thing?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize