i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
