does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
