Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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