Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
