Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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