Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
