I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
