I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize