So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
