I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
ok first of all what the fuck
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
