Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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