it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
