It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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