There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
